A Look At Addiction To Sadness

Perhaps addiction to a specific emotion or feeling may not be what enters one’s mind when speaking to addiction. But by definition, addiction is “a strong and harmful need to regularly have something or do something”. And that something can just as easily be to an emotion as it can be to a drug or behavior such as thrill-seeking.

When we look at addiction to sadness, we must first acknowledge that there is a difference between purposefully seeking a state of emotional sadness and the medical illness called depression. Depression is far more than an occasional case of “the blues” and should never be taken lightly by the sufferer or the support persons.

This writer would be remiss if she didn’t share two vital pieces of information regarding depression, prior to diving into sadness addiction. If you have any inkling that you are depressed, please visit the Mayo Clinic website for its “Depression Self-Assessment” test. If you feel that you’re in crisis or just need to talk, call the US National Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Readers, please do not confuse this with, or, dismiss a person who is struggling with situational, seasonal, or clinical depression.

An addiction to sadness is where one purposefully remains in an emotional state of sadness. It is no different then an addiction to drama, where one purposefully seeks out life drama and chaotic situations. Although the root causes between drama and sadness addictions are quite different. For the person addicted to sadness, it stems from an unhappy and lonely childhood where sadness was an often-felt emotion. Due to the emotional familiarity, sadness becomes that person’s evil best friend.

Signs of the sadness addict can be a person who, no matter how much positivity life brings their way, simply dismisses it and turn to negative feelings. This person may choose to listen to “lovelorn” music, even when in a solid relationship, in order to evoke sad emotions. In speaking to them you will find that any conversation will turn to the negative aspect of whatever you may be discussing. The sadness addict literally feels safe to stay within the “comfort” of their sadness because it is a familiar place to be. Have you identified yourself or someone close to you?

This writer is not a clinician and does not dole out medical advice, just life observation. For the sadness addict, eventually as with any addiction, there is a price to pay. Left untreated by a legitimate specialist, the sadness addict will inevitably lose friends, relationships, and fail to grow to a healthy emotional state. Again, sadness addiction is not to be confused with or compared to depression.

*Medical Advice Disclaimer: The information included in this article is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult his or her healthcare provider.

©2013 Journey To Self, All rights reserved. 

Dealing With Negative People

When’s the last time you had to deal with a negative person? How did you handle it? Did you attack back, navigate through the situation with grace or walk away feeling bad about yourself?

Taking a moment to review a negative situation, while we’re calm, allows us to think about productive avenues for handling future negative people and situations. (Seriously reviewing any past situation allows us to think of better alternatives for the future.)

You may ask, why bother to have any forethought about our responses? The answer is simple; we damage ourselves by feeding into other people’s cycle of negativity!

Wherever we go, we are inevitably going to face people who are negative, people who oppose our ideas, people who piss us off or people who simply don’t like us. That’s the way life is, we are all, thankfully, different. Our differences are not the cause of conflict but they do trigger our emotions. Our emotions are what drive us back to our basic survival instinct of React and Attack. But, we have the ability to keep our emotions in check and control our responses.

Have you ever noticed that negativity spreads? I’ve found that if I’m around a negative minded person, their negativity starts to affect my thoughts and judgments. I’ve learned that when people initiate negativity, it is a direct reflection of their obvious self-dissatisfaction. People are often so bored and unhappy with their own lives that they want to bring others down too. Reacting to someone who is negative will only trigger anger and additional negative responses from that person. If we do respond, we have wasted our energy upon the unproductive. Energy wasted on negative people is energy that could have been spent on a million other, far more important issues.

Some people may have a less than articulate way of expressing themselves, it may even be offensive, but they are still entitled to do so. They have the right to express their own opinions and we have the right and willpower to choose our responses. There is a wonderful quote by Alex Noble, “If I have been of service, if I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, if I am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, if I am at peace with myself, it has been a successful day.” Noble sums up the true spirit of being at peace with one’s self. It’s a beautiful quote and perhaps one that we need to remember at the end of the day.

There is but one ride in this life … enjoy the journey!

©2010-2013 Journey To Self – All Rights Reserved

Stress and Finding A Balance

Everyone is affected by stress in one way or another. Managing stress, at times, can feel overwhelming. But, it is an issue of how we view and think about a trying situation, and then taking proactive actions.

You can peruse the Internet and find thousands of tips to combat stress, many of which are common sense actions such as, exercising, eating well and taking time for you … the list goes on. Have you ever thought about looking at the internal instead of the external?

Getting to know who you truly are is number one on my list of ways for combating stress. Be willing to take the time for introspection. I’m talking about real introspection, the type where you look at and acknowledge your faults, as well as your strengths. So what happens after you know all the pluses and minuses about you? You now have a healthy emotional arsenal to draw upon.

There is but one ride in this life … enjoy the journey!

©2010-2013 Journey To Self – All Rights Reserved 

DLF Live to bring transcendental meditation to at-risk communities

The David Lynch Foundation announced June 4, the launch its new performance division, DLF Live. The launch will take place at the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival on June 15. DLF Live will connect the power of arts and creativity to bring transcendental meditation (TM) to at-risk communities.

The launch will be marked by a screening of, “Meditation, Creativity, Peace,” a documentary highlighting filmmaker David Lynch and his decades-long dedication to TM and the arts. The screening is sponsored by the David Lynch Foundation (DLF) and will be hosted by James McCartney, musician and son of legend Paul McCartney and Bob Roth, Executive Director of DLF.

DLF Live will produce concerts, film festivals, stand-up comedy shows, film competitions, conferences and art events to support the work of the David Lynch Foundation. All proceeds will go towards DLF's work to bring healing through TM to underserved communities. One of DLF Live’s goals will be to raise funds to teach TM to 1,000,000 at-risk youth around the world over the next five years.

Why introduce TM to at-risk youth? The benefits of meditation have been studied and found to be an effective tool by the Harvard School of Medicine, the National Institutes of Health, the U.S. Department of Defense, the American Heart Association and the American Medical Association. Meditation. These studies have been proven to reduce acute and chronic stress and stress-related disorders, decrease anxiety and depression, help individuals overcome addictions and simultaneously develop the brain and creative potential of the individual for a healthy, productive and self-sufficient life.

DLF Live’s Board of Advisors includes music industry leaders Russell Simmons, Scooter Braun, Dan McCarroll and Craig Kallman. DLF has previously produced benefit concerts and events featuring Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Wynton Marsalis, Martin Scorsese, Ellen DeGeneres, Russell Brand and Dr. Mehmet Oz. For more information about DLF, please visit their website and for more information about the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival screening, please visit Bonnaroo Cinema. 

Coping With Holiday Stress

As our friends and family gather for the holiday celebrations, we need to remember the true purpose of these holiday get-togethers. Instead of looking at tomorrow’s Thanksgiving dinner or other holiday celebrations in terms of what you need to do, reframe your thinking a view these holiday gatherings, as an enjoyable time to spend with loved ones.

Easier said then done when Auntie Matilda or whomever asks, “Where is your boyfriend/girlfriend?” despite that Matilda knows full well you are happily single. Or when your sibling comments that the stuffing isn’t as good as mom makes. Questions and comments of this nature are intended to make you feel inadequate. This is where you have several choices.

You can choose to grin and bear the negative comments and questions, you can also choose to shoot a quip back or you can reframe your thoughts and enjoy the day. Reframing your thought process takes discipline, but self-awareness is about self-empowerment. When you know who you truly are as a human being, other people’s attempts (subconsciously or otherwise) to make you feel inferior simply won’t affect you. It’s quite simple really. You have to remember who you are, that you’re happy with yourself and most of all, other people’s unhappiness is not yours.

©2012 Journey To Self, All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced without prior permissions from the author.

Working On Self-Esteem

What do you like about yourself? Are you proud of yourself? If these questions make you feel uncomfortable, or you cannot answer them, chances are that you have a problem with self-esteem. Why is that? Why do so many people basically dislike themselves? Why are we embarrassed to "esteem" ourselves?

Self-esteem comes from the inside out. It is a core identity issue, essential to personal validation and our ability to experience joy. Once achieved, it comes from the inside out. But it is beaten or stunted from the outside in. A person with a positive self-image is not dependent upon anyone else to make him or her feel good about themselves, because they already know that they are fine just the way they are. These people are confident and aware of their strengths and abilities.

A person with low self-esteem does not feel good about himself or herself because they have absorbed all the negative messages around them. Low self-esteem can lead to poor decision making in one’s personal and professional life. Worse yet, low self-esteem passes from parent to child. Parents are modeling what it is to be a “man” or a “woman” and here within lies dangerous territory leaving children of parents with esteem issues, more vulnerable to abusive relationships.

A person with low self-esteem has no control over their life because their personal validation is met by outside factors. But that can change. You can reach out and begin the path toward emotional healing and a positive self-image. You can choose your own identity. You can discard the negative images and replace it with something healthy. Nobody is perfect, but everyone is worthwhile. Believe in yourself!

©2012 Journey To Self, All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced without prior permissions from the author.

The importance of self-awareness

Self-awareness is a way for us to explore our individual personalities, value systems, beliefs, natural inclinations, and tendencies. Because we are all different in the way we react to situations, learn, and process information, it’s helpful to spend time in self-reflection to gain a better insight into ourselves.

But, why is self-awareness important? Self-awareness is important because when we have a better understanding of who we truly are and with this knowledge we are empowered to make changes and to build on our areas of strength as well as identify areas where we would like to make improvements. Self-awareness is the first step towards setting goals for ourselves.

If you’re still perplexed as to what self-awareness is, ask yourself a few questions:

• Do you listen to others during a conversation? Or, do you tend to do a lot of the talking?
• Do you ask others how they feel about situations? Or, do you make assumptions based on your own feelings?
• Do you think about how your actions affect others? Or, are you confident that others are fine with how you handle situations?
• Are you aware of other people’s social cues? Or, do you mostly focus on your own?
• Can you admit when you are wrong, and have apologized when you are? Or, do you tend to think that things are wrong or go bad because of others?

If you answered yes to most of the first questions in each pair, you are most likely self-aware. If you answered yes to most of the second questions in each pair, you probably need to spend some time practicing how to tune into other people’s reactions and also spend time getting to know yourself.

The bottom line is that self-awareness will give you the ability to be open, thoughtful and aware of how your actions impact others. Self-awareness is one of the most valuable qualities that you can possess as a human being.

There is but one ride in this life … enjoy the journey! 

©2010-2013 Journey To Self – All Rights Reserved