Coping With Holiday Stress

As our friends and family gather for the holiday celebrations, we need to remember the true purpose of these holiday get-togethers. Instead of looking at tomorrow’s Thanksgiving dinner or other holiday celebrations in terms of what you need to do, reframe your thinking a view these holiday gatherings, as an enjoyable time to spend with loved ones.

Easier said then done when Auntie Matilda or whomever asks, “Where is your boyfriend/girlfriend?” despite that Matilda knows full well you are happily single. Or when your sibling comments that the stuffing isn’t as good as mom makes. Questions and comments of this nature are intended to make you feel inadequate. This is where you have several choices.

You can choose to grin and bear the negative comments and questions, you can also choose to shoot a quip back or you can reframe your thoughts and enjoy the day. Reframing your thought process takes discipline, but self-awareness is about self-empowerment. When you know who you truly are as a human being, other people’s attempts (subconsciously or otherwise) to make you feel inferior simply won’t affect you. It’s quite simple really. You have to remember who you are, that you’re happy with yourself and most of all, other people’s unhappiness is not yours.

©2012 Journey To Self, All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced without prior permissions from the author.

Working On Self-Esteem

What do you like about yourself? Are you proud of yourself? If these questions make you feel uncomfortable, or you cannot answer them, chances are that you have a problem with self-esteem. Why is that? Why do so many people basically dislike themselves? Why are we embarrassed to "esteem" ourselves?

Self-esteem comes from the inside out. It is a core identity issue, essential to personal validation and our ability to experience joy. Once achieved, it comes from the inside out. But it is beaten or stunted from the outside in. A person with a positive self-image is not dependent upon anyone else to make him or her feel good about themselves, because they already know that they are fine just the way they are. These people are confident and aware of their strengths and abilities.

A person with low self-esteem does not feel good about himself or herself because they have absorbed all the negative messages around them. Low self-esteem can lead to poor decision making in one’s personal and professional life. Worse yet, low self-esteem passes from parent to child. Parents are modeling what it is to be a “man” or a “woman” and here within lies dangerous territory leaving children of parents with esteem issues, more vulnerable to abusive relationships.

A person with low self-esteem has no control over their life because their personal validation is met by outside factors. But that can change. You can reach out and begin the path toward emotional healing and a positive self-image. You can choose your own identity. You can discard the negative images and replace it with something healthy. Nobody is perfect, but everyone is worthwhile. Believe in yourself!

©2012 Journey To Self, All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced without prior permissions from the author.

Low Self-Esteem and The Jealousy Factor

I think that it was Marilyn Monroe who said, “You're no one until someone hates you.” It is true that people will dislike you once you attain a level of success and it is also rather sad for those who have feelings of dislike, or even hate, towards you for the simple fact of your success.

It is at this time that our personal self-awareness is most helpful. Being self-aware and knowing who you are allows you to forgive those that spew venom towards you for your successes. But what if you are the person filled with hateful jealousies toward another?

The simplistic answer for your jealousy is that you are unhappy with yourself and suffer from low self-esteem. And it’s easier to “dislike or hate,” (which in essence is veiled jealousy), a person that you perceive to be successful. You may even believe that the target of your dislike is unjustifiably successful.

Digging deeper, this jealousy that you feel toward another is actual fear of what you, yourself lack. It is much, much easier to point a finger at someone else then to take time for introspection. Personal introspection means that you will have to face your personal demons and come to terms with the fact that you are not happy with where you are in your life journey.

If you find that your consistently focusing hateful feelings towards another, it’s time to take a step back and take a good, long look at yourself. Ask yourself – Has this person sincerely wronged me or is this my personal misperception? Does this person affect my life? Why am I angry with this person? If you are absolutely truthful to yourself, you will find that this person has not wronged you, does not affect your life, and that you’re angry with this person because of your own unhappiness and low self-esteem.

My personal journey brought me to a place of only ever being in competition with myself. But, you can’t get to that place or even understand it until you put in the work to become comfortable with who you are. Attaining self-esteem is a journey that begins with introspection and ends with happiness. In between introspection and happiness is where all the hard work is.

©2012 Journey To Self, All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced without prior permissions from the author.