Dealing With Negative People

When’s the last time you had to deal with a negative person? How did you handle it? Did you attack back, navigate through the situation with grace or walk away feeling bad about yourself?

Taking a moment to review a negative situation, while we’re calm, allows us to think about productive avenues for handling future negative people and situations. (Seriously reviewing any past situation allows us to think of better alternatives for the future.)

You may ask, why bother to have any forethought about our responses? The answer is simple; we damage ourselves by feeding into other people’s cycle of negativity!

Wherever we go, we are inevitably going to face people who are negative, people who oppose our ideas, people who piss us off or people who simply don’t like us. That’s the way life is, we are all, thankfully, different. Our differences are not the cause of conflict but they do trigger our emotions. Our emotions are what drive us back to our basic survival instinct of React and Attack. But, we have the ability to keep our emotions in check and control our responses.

Have you ever noticed that negativity spreads? I’ve found that if I’m around a negative minded person, their negativity starts to affect my thoughts and judgments. I’ve learned that when people initiate negativity, it is a direct reflection of their obvious self-dissatisfaction. People are often so bored and unhappy with their own lives that they want to bring others down too. Reacting to someone who is negative will only trigger anger and additional negative responses from that person. If we do respond, we have wasted our energy upon the unproductive. Energy wasted on negative people is energy that could have been spent on a million other, far more important issues.

Some people may have a less than articulate way of expressing themselves, it may even be offensive, but they are still entitled to do so. They have the right to express their own opinions and we have the right and willpower to choose our responses. There is a wonderful quote by Alex Noble, “If I have been of service, if I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, if I am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, if I am at peace with myself, it has been a successful day.” Noble sums up the true spirit of being at peace with one’s self. It’s a beautiful quote and perhaps one that we need to remember at the end of the day.

There is but one ride in this life … enjoy the journey!

©2010-2013 Journey To Self – All Rights Reserved

Stress and Finding A Balance

Everyone is affected by stress in one way or another. Managing stress, at times, can feel overwhelming. But, it is an issue of how we view and think about a trying situation, and then taking proactive actions.

You can peruse the Internet and find thousands of tips to combat stress, many of which are common sense actions such as, exercising, eating well and taking time for you … the list goes on. Have you ever thought about looking at the internal instead of the external?

Getting to know who you truly are is number one on my list of ways for combating stress. Be willing to take the time for introspection. I’m talking about real introspection, the type where you look at and acknowledge your faults, as well as your strengths. So what happens after you know all the pluses and minuses about you? You now have a healthy emotional arsenal to draw upon.

There is but one ride in this life … enjoy the journey!

©2010-2013 Journey To Self – All Rights Reserved 

DLF Live to bring transcendental meditation to at-risk communities

The David Lynch Foundation announced June 4, the launch its new performance division, DLF Live. The launch will take place at the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival on June 15. DLF Live will connect the power of arts and creativity to bring transcendental meditation (TM) to at-risk communities.

The launch will be marked by a screening of, “Meditation, Creativity, Peace,” a documentary highlighting filmmaker David Lynch and his decades-long dedication to TM and the arts. The screening is sponsored by the David Lynch Foundation (DLF) and will be hosted by James McCartney, musician and son of legend Paul McCartney and Bob Roth, Executive Director of DLF.

DLF Live will produce concerts, film festivals, stand-up comedy shows, film competitions, conferences and art events to support the work of the David Lynch Foundation. All proceeds will go towards DLF's work to bring healing through TM to underserved communities. One of DLF Live’s goals will be to raise funds to teach TM to 1,000,000 at-risk youth around the world over the next five years.

Why introduce TM to at-risk youth? The benefits of meditation have been studied and found to be an effective tool by the Harvard School of Medicine, the National Institutes of Health, the U.S. Department of Defense, the American Heart Association and the American Medical Association. Meditation. These studies have been proven to reduce acute and chronic stress and stress-related disorders, decrease anxiety and depression, help individuals overcome addictions and simultaneously develop the brain and creative potential of the individual for a healthy, productive and self-sufficient life.

DLF Live’s Board of Advisors includes music industry leaders Russell Simmons, Scooter Braun, Dan McCarroll and Craig Kallman. DLF has previously produced benefit concerts and events featuring Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Wynton Marsalis, Martin Scorsese, Ellen DeGeneres, Russell Brand and Dr. Mehmet Oz. For more information about DLF, please visit their website and for more information about the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival screening, please visit Bonnaroo Cinema. 

Is Your Friend Actually Your Frenemy?

The term "frenemy" made it's way into mainstream culture after the release of the uber popular, teen film "Mean Girls." Two of the main characters in the film, Cady and Regina, enter into a friendship that is wrought with jealousy. Both girls go to great lengths to undermine the other in an effort to be the most popular girl in high school.

While most of us can relate to the frenemy concept amongst teenagers, it may be somewhat difficult to acknowledge that frenemies can exist in our lives when we're 20, 30, 40, or older. The acceptance of the frenemy concept is, hands-down, in direct conflict with want we all want to believe in, and that belief is the humankind of people.

Our friends are the people that are supposed to be supportive. They give us a base of acceptance, offer advice, and are the unconditional shoulder to cry on. In a perfect world this would ring true of every person, but sadly it simply does not. So, how can you identify a friend from a frenemy? In our teens and early 20s, frenemies are fairly easy to spot. They're rather obvious in their undermining ways. Their efforts to make you feel bad will be things such as flirting with the guy or girl you like or negatively commenting on your appearance. As the frenemy ages, their abilities are honed. Therefore, making the frenemy far more difficult to spot.

Fortunately, frenemies display very consistent behaviors. If you can recognize that one person in your social group who is the last to praise you for your successes and the first to point at your failures, you have successfully spotted the frenemy. Not so easy? How about a few examples of frenemy words and behaviors?

Regarding the words of a frenemy, the come in the package of backhanded compliments:

• "You really should be so happy that guy/girl is going out to dinner with you."
• "I love your dress! I wish that I could wear something like that, but my breasts are too big."
• “Bro, I like that shirt. I wish I could wear something like that, but my biceps are too big.”
• "I love what you've done with your apartment! It's not quite my style but … "
• "Congratulations on your promotion. One day you might just make as much as I do."

Regarding the actions of a frenemy, see if you recognize these:

• Insensitive comments followed by a hug, handshake, or a laugh.
• Attempts to steal the spotlight during a happy or positive moment.
• Constantly comparing your life with theirs.
• Competing with you over everything.

What's likely to be the singularly most confusing aspect of a frenemy situation is that this person was probably someone that you at one time consider to be a friend. Unfortunately, the friendship was always one-sided and this is probably the most difficult aspect to except. This person's actions are borne out of their own insecurities and the more that they successfully make you feel inferior, the more their sick superiority complex is feed. Just like a parasitic tick, this person needs to be removed from your life and flushed down the toilet.

©2013 Journey To Self, All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced without prior permissions from the author.