Love and The Drama Addiction

Despite that many little girls are indoctrinated with stories about prince charming, the “need” to find a partner is not gender specific. Society programs us to find that special someone and we’re inundated with messages that conflict and drama equal passion and love. But, what is drama addiction in a romantic relationship?

In short, drama addiction is exactly what it says … addiction to drama. And like any other addictions, it involves a craving and compulsion. In the case of drama addiction with love, the behavior of the drama addict is an overreaction to any situation in which the addicted person perceives to have been slighted by their partner.

We’ve all witnessed this type of behavior in teens. Jack sees his girlfriend Becky chatting with another guy and in Jack’s mind, Becky MUST be interested in the other guy. Or perhaps it’s Becky who witnesses Jack exchanging pleasantries with a classmate and boom … drama! We can give a bit of latitude with teens because they’re still developing, but it’s a completely different issue when the drama follows into adulthood.

Ultimately, the adult drama addict is driven by deep-seeded insecurities. They are unhappy with themselves and must have control over every aspect of their world with a very specific focus on their partner’s life. They need to know everything that’s going on in their partner’s world including work, friends and family. They need to judge the people in their partner’s life. They need to be the go-to person regarding everything that transpires in their partner’s world.

The bottom line is that the drama addict must be the center of attention at all times. Veer from the drama addict’s plan in anyway and what you will witness is a temper tantrum on the scale of a two-year-old. Why does the drama addict act this way? Arrested development! But, a break down of arrested development is a whole other beast.

Aside from the obvious unhealthy issues within a relationship where one partner is addicted to drama, there is often a sad scenario where the drama addict has found a sincere and loving partner. For the drama addict, a sincere and loving partner can increase the need for drama. The drama addict is literally uncomfortable experiencing healthy love. As with any addiction, the addict must first recognize that there’s a problem before they can get on the road to recovery.

©2013 Journey To Self, All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced without prior permissions from the author.

Low Self-Esteem and The Jealousy Factor

I think that it was Marilyn Monroe who said, “You're no one until someone hates you.” It is true that people will dislike you once you attain a level of success and it is also rather sad for those who have feelings of dislike, or even hate, towards you for the simple fact of your success.

It is at this time that our personal self-awareness is most helpful. Being self-aware and knowing who you are allows you to forgive those that spew venom towards you for your successes. But what if you are the person filled with hateful jealousies toward another?

The simplistic answer for your jealousy is that you are unhappy with yourself and suffer from low self-esteem. And it’s easier to “dislike or hate,” (which in essence is veiled jealousy), a person that you perceive to be successful. You may even believe that the target of your dislike is unjustifiably successful.

Digging deeper, this jealousy that you feel toward another is actual fear of what you, yourself lack. It is much, much easier to point a finger at someone else then to take time for introspection. Personal introspection means that you will have to face your personal demons and come to terms with the fact that you are not happy with where you are in your life journey.

If you find that your consistently focusing hateful feelings towards another, it’s time to take a step back and take a good, long look at yourself. Ask yourself – Has this person sincerely wronged me or is this my personal misperception? Does this person affect my life? Why am I angry with this person? If you are absolutely truthful to yourself, you will find that this person has not wronged you, does not affect your life, and that you’re angry with this person because of your own unhappiness and low self-esteem.

My personal journey brought me to a place of only ever being in competition with myself. But, you can’t get to that place or even understand it until you put in the work to become comfortable with who you are. Attaining self-esteem is a journey that begins with introspection and ends with happiness. In between introspection and happiness is where all the hard work is.

©2012 Journey To Self, All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced without prior permissions from the author.