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| Dr. Michelle Callahan |
While many of your friends may
have enjoyed receiving a sweet Valentine, your sweetie may have been quite a
disappointment. I refer to this as the Valentine’s Day Letdown. What you
thought was going to happen with your relationship, simply didn’t, and this has
left you wondering if it’s time to move on.
What you may be experiencing is
likely born from a lack of communication and unrealistic expectations. Moving
in with your sweetie may have seemed like an awesome choice, but after the
major Valentine’s Day Letdown, you now know that it’s time to move on. If
you’ve reached the point where you’re attempting to figure out how to move on,
fortunately you’re not alone, as relationship expert Dr. Michelle Callahan has
shared advice with Journey To Self regarding the best way to figure out which
one of the two of you should stay and who should go.
Dr. Michelle offers the
following:
- Who lived there first? Probably the easiest way to determine who should get the space is to decide based on who lived there first. The person whose name is on the lease usually gets first priority. If the person whose name is on the lease decides to give the space to their partner, that person should be sure to get the lease transferred to their name so they have a legal right to live there.
- Who can afford to move? A recent study conducted by Rent.com found that 33 percent of renters said they continued to live with their former partner after a break-up because they couldn’t find an apartment they could afford. After sharing rent and household expenses, it becomes a challenge for people to save enough money to find an apartment they can afford on their own, in addition to moving expenses and a new security deposit.
- Who needs the space? If one person works from home or cares for children or pets living in the home, that person likely has a greater need to maintain consistency and remain at that location. If the apartment is particularly close to one person’s job, that’s another benefit that might tip the scales in their direction.
- Who loves the space the most? Sometimes one person has grown very personally attached to the space. They may have invested a lot of time in decorating or selecting that apartment and as a result they feel more attached to the space.
- Who wants to separate sooner than later? The breakup may be more painful for one partner than the other. In that case, the person who finds it hardest to share the physical space with their Ex may be more likely to voluntarily leave the apartment in the interest of their own well-being.
Dr. Michelle is a renowned
psychologist, author, and the host of “Wedlock or Deadlock” who is also a
popular guest on Dr. Oz, Rachael Ray, The Talk, Oprah and the Today Show. For
more tips about relationships, visit Dr. Michelle’s website at drmichelle.com.
©2013 Journey To Self, All rights
reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced without prior permissions
from the author.
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